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Feathering the nest

By WENDY JEFFCOAT CRIDER, T&D Staff WriterSaturday, January 20, 2007

3 comment(s) | Default | Large

One look at online baby store offerings or in baby superchains will tell you having a baby today isn't as "simple" as it was when your mother was pregnant.

In addition to the cribs, bottles and diapers -- that do resemble those of yesteryear -- and were probably all our Moms needed -- pregnant shoppers are bombarded with images of diaper disposal systems, orthodontic pacifiers, baby slings and bottle or wipe warmers.

Don't go overboard

New moms don't know what they really need, and many people say a lot of this "stuff" causes more clutter than it's worth.

Candace Walsh, product and article editor for Mothering magazine and mother of two, said sometimes less truly is more.

"They (parents) have got nine months to wait, and they've got a pocket full of money that's burning a hole," she said. "They end up getting a whole bunch of clunky things they don't need."

Instead of buying items that will more than likely collect dust in a closet or nursery, Walsh suggests requesting and using baby shower gift certificates to buy that highchair when the appropriate time comes.

However, senior editor Barrie Gillies of Parents magazine said requesting such items at showers is a good idea -- if you have the storage space to keep items you won't need for a few months.

"If you're going to have a lot of people coming to your (baby) shower, why not?" she said.

Things to avoid

Gillies says you don't need some of the smaller nonessentials like diaper wipe warmers, nursing shirts and bottle warmers. Instead of purchasing a play pen, which takes up a good bit of room, Walsh suggests investing in a Moses basket, which contains a small mattress to keep the baby comfortable and handles woven into the basket to make it easy to transport from room-to-room.

"For one thing, you have to bend really low to put the baby in, they're bulky and they can be dangerous," she said of play pens, which present a hazard when the child is old enough to climb out of it.

Walsh recommends child-proofing a room by blocking entrances with baby gates and securing other items to ensure a safe space for your little one.

Go organic

For toys, she recommends taking advantage of the new items on the market -- handcrafted, organic toys -- and not those made from plastic.

"I've noticed some wonderful trends with wooden, handmade toys," Walsh said. "Wood feels real warm and pleasant."

Dangers abound with plastic toys, she said, including their tendency to break and expose children to harmful elements. Walsh recommends toys produced by toy makers, such as Haba, who are committed to seeking non-treated wood to craft its organic toys.

Gillies, a mother of one, said trends are remarkable for organic goods -- and it's not just for toys, either. The trend includes organic onsies, blankets, bibs -- you name it, and you can probably find its all-natural counterpart.

"A lot of people are not only going organic milk and food but organic clothes and toys as well," she said. "A big trend is organic, organic, organic."

Other toys that are good for young children are those made with 100 percent cotton. Walsh recommends compiling a small selection of the more pricey organic toys versus a large selection of cheap, plastic ones.

"I think the less toys a baby or child has, the better relationship they have with each one," she said. "They play with their toys so much more."

What about the bulky exersaucers that have become ever so popular? "Those things are horrible," Walsh said. "They're big, they're plastic ... and they're expensive."

Other good ideas

Gillies suggests purchasing little board books, especially those that have pictures of babies in them, because young children are fascinated by pictures of other little ones. A good example of these books is "Amazing Baby Baby, Boo!" she said, which is sure to keep your baby entertained time and again.

You'll probably also want to purchase a mobile, Gillies said, as they help with developmental skills as your child grows, and a monitor once the baby is moved to its own room. Also, a Ray Shade stroller accessory may come in handy for those who live in sunny sites, a bouncy seat or baby swing to calm fussy babies, a bottle dryer or rack and, of course, onesies and socks for those first few days home.

Co-sleepers instead of cribs

Walsh recommends another relatively new product, the co-sleeper (an example would be Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper Bassinets), which attaches to the side of the parents' bed and allows for easy access for feedings or comforting the baby through the night.

She said they are an excellent answer for parents who just don't have much space for a crib or bassinet, items that sometimes just don't get used, no matter the parent's intentions.

"I know so many parents who have big, expensive cribs who don't even use them," except for storage, Walsh said.

"The nesting instinct is so strong ... Instead of just feeling like you have to go to a big baby store, learn to knit and make a blanket, or make a homemade journal. Talk to people, talk to friends who have babies."

Soothing baby

"Raise your ecological awareness for your body and your baby's body," Walsh said. "You can't control the way the world is, but you can control your home."

As far as practical and for safety's sake, keep the environment as balanced and neutral as possible.

Gillies has her own recommendations, including the DVD, "The Happiest Baby on the Block," by Dr. Harvey Karp, which lays out, among other principles, the 5 "S's" for soothing babies, one of which is swaddling.

Other items she recommends are bouncy seats or baby swings to sooth fussy infants, the Rockabye Baby CDs featuring baby-friendly versions of classics by artists like Led Zeppelin and Metallica and HBO's "Classical Baby" DVDs highlighting art, dance and music.

"They are the most artistic, wonderfully produced baby DVDs that the whole family will love," Gillies said. "They totally mesmerize my (19-month-old) son and his little friends."

A baby slings, Walsh said, is one item she wishes her parents and parents of past generations had had.

"The slings are cloth and can be a sort of pocket or a wrap sling," she said. "Studies show that babies feel much more secure or comfortable when they have skin-to-skin contact."

And there's an added plus for Mommy or Daddy.

"To have the baby that close to you just feels great," she said.

Gillies said the sling is a great addition to any nursery, allowing parents to have freedom to perform tasks while keeping their children close.

Babies 'r cool now

"You're seeing everyone, from Brooke Shields to Heath Ledger, carrying their babies in slings," she said. "It's really important to have that bond. It soothes them."

She said it seems parents of today's generation are mindful of what the "celebrity baby boom" has brought to the table -- a sense that mothering is cool and doesn't necessarily mean the end of individuality. Gillies pointed out that stars, like new mother Gwen Stefani, have launched their own baby product and clothing lines, and parents can't get enough of what the stars' babies are wearing.

"They're just like us, and they're doing everything with their baby," she said. New parents, Gillies said, want the diaper bag they see Brad Pitt carrying, or the cool T-shirt and shoes stars dress their babies in.

With the boom comes the ideal that "Money is no object when it comes to your kids," she said. "There just wasn't that sense of baby being an extension of who you are."

That, she said, is one of the biggest differences between having a baby 10 or 20 years ago to having one today, aside from extras like the Internet, fathers actively involved in their children's lives, good maternity leave and the ever-popular umbrella stroller.

"Kids are wearing rock star t-shirts. It's not about pink and blue -- it's a lot cooler and a lot more fashionable," she said. "It's cool to have a baby now.

"You're really a part of this cultural dialogue now. Now it's all about being a cool mom, being a hip mom, and still being a cool person."

T&D Staff Writer Wendy Jeffcoat Crider can be reached by e-mail at wjeffcoat@timesanddemocrat.com or by telephone at 803-533-5546. Discuss this and other stories on-line at TheTandD.com.

 
3 comment(s)
The following comments are reader submitted. They do not represent the views of The T&D or Lee Enterprises.

Andrew H. wrote on Jan 30, 2007 3:09 AM:

" I am 25 years old and have a 10 month old daughter. Fatherhood has been wonderful and, quite honestly, also trying. There are difficult times, I won’t deny, but becoming a father has been the most life-affirming event, and I have loved nothing as I have loved the origination of my own family. I agree with conscientiously applied attachment parenting and that creating well-loved and respected human beings is the task of every family, and which if each family did, we might hope that the world would be less wracked with strife. I introduce myself only to background my reasons for reacting to this article as I do. My reactions to this article are strong, and so for the purposes of objectivity, I will acknowledge both what deserves merit and what deserves censure in the above article. I agree with maximising baby-parent contact, that one should avoid gadgets, that co-sleeping is natural, and with the suggestion of ‘organic’ toys, and of the general environmental awareness which that should promote. Further, consider environmentally-friendly alternative household cleaners to create home less polluted by harmful chemicals—your local library is liable to have books on developing an environmentally friendly household. The article begins well but concludes poorly—in the interim I’ll note that I’m not so fond of the idea of early exposure to television or DVDs for children. The article concludes with a discussion of the Hollywood Baby-Boom, and suggests that it is now cool to have a baby. [Why we set movie stars up as role models is beyond me. Why couldn’t we emulate people who attempt to improve the world, rather than people whose good looks and occasionally something more than mediocre acting earned them the money to afford a social/political/moral/global conscience. I am not meaning to blackwash the acting profession—we’re all people trying to get by and survive in our various situations—but, cannot everyone recognise that the world must be very cautious of who it chooses to immortalise? The acting profession aside, my concern, rather, is that babies are being presented in the context of fashion. All I mean to say is that making babies fashionable, ‘cool’ as the article puts it—“ Babies 'r cool now”—is to suffer babies and the whole institution of parenting a horrible indignity. I quote from the article, “She said it seems parents of today's generation are mindful of what the "celebrity baby boom" has brought to the table -- a sense that mothering is cool and doesn't necessarily mean the end of individuality. Gillies pointed out that stars, like new mother Gwen Stefani, have launched their own baby product and clothing lines, and parents can't get enough of what the stars' babies are wearing. "Kids are wearing rock star t-shirts. It's not about pink and blue -- it's a lot cooler and a lot more fashionable," she said. "It's cool to have a baby now.” "You're really a part of this cultural dialogue now. Now it's all about being a cool mom, being a hip mom, and still being a cool person." It is a sad thing when all one has to do to expose the ridiculousness of a position is to quote one’s opponents very own words back to them. In short, I say, Babies and Children are Not Accessories…my god! MY GOD!—if an atheist may use such an expletive—They are not accessories! They are not commodities! They are not possessions! They are not trinkets for the fashion industry! The article speaks of becoming a parent not needing to mean “the end of individuality”. It isn’t the end, but what parenthood means is change. One no longer lives for their old selfish reasons, their old selfish wants, their old selfish sense of individual identity. It is change, and change is not death, change is not the end. Change, in fact, is growth. If people are so self-absorbed as to not let themselves be changed by something as personal, as meaningful, and momentous as the birth of their own children, then the human plight is sad, and we are a degraded humanity. "

Linda Graham wrote on Jan 25, 2007 11:55 AM:

" I am fasinated by the direction that child rearing is going. I was considered such an oddity thirty years ago when I clung to the current trends and ideas of mothering that today are actually in vogue. I beleive this generation will realize great beneifits and see their efforts rewarded by the creation of very loving and secure adults when the day comes that thier babies become adults. I loved the advise on being more connected and bonded. A sling beats a play pen hands down. Babies need love, physical connection and the sense of security that comes from being held. I agree with Candace Walsh less is diffinately more. "

malika wrote on Jan 20, 2007 10:37 PM:

" It's nice to see an old African tradition being used!! "



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Oopa baby slings are designed to meld traditional baby-carrying methods with the right amount of panache and modern-day flair. SPECIAL TO THE T&D

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